Monday, August 15, 2011

Picking Myself Up

Normally I am very happy and optimistic person. Rarely will you see me doing something without a smile or a laugh.

But this morning was one of those mornings. One where the pessimistic voice in my head overpowered my usual bubbly self, and made me feel like crap, to be honest.

Negative thoughts just kept coming through my brain and despite my best efforts I was still not in a good mood after an hour of being awake. I still got up and went to cross country practice because I know that running makes me feel better, but that negative thought bubble kept following me.

I've been getting frustrated with running recently because I have been going to practice 5-6 days a week for over a month now, and I still tire out faster than the others and fall behind at the end of the run. I have been running with the varsity girls this summer, and I have a shot at one of the top seven spots, so I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. And despite my best efforts, I still seem to be having a much harder time than the rest of the girls.

This morning my anger and frustration was especially prevalent and I couldn't kick the negative thoughts out of my head. "why are you so slow?" "why can't you keep up with everyone else?" "maybe the few pounds that you've put on in the past year or two are slowing you down." 

After fighting a mental battle for the whole 6.5 miles, I finally put my foot down and started countering those negative thoughts with positive ones.

My legs are strong and beautiful.

They have carried me through over 50 miles in the past 9 days - if that's not improvement, then I don't know what is. 

I have worked HARD at strength training and my work has paid off. I am stronger than I have been in my life and that is something to be extremely proud of. 

I have a sturdy and athletic figure that has carried me through countless games and races. I should be LOVING my body, not beating it down. 

I don't have any life-threatening problems. 

I am a healthy and happy young woman and I have my whole life in front of me.

I can run. I can dance. I can laugh. 

I can do pretty much anything if I put my mind to it. 

When I finally turned the corner and started thinking positive thoughts, they started kicking the negative ones out. It made me realize that all it takes to love yourself is one positive step at a time.

There is so much negative media out there telling us that we're not worth it. We're not perfect, we're not skinny enough, we're not beautiful. That we need to have flawless skin and toothpick legs. This negative media is so harmful and UNTRUE! Each and every one of us has strengths that make us unique. And we're not supposed to be perfect!! It is our imperfections that make us real and beautiful.

I am so glad that I FOUGHT that mental battle this morning. I struggled, I let some negative thoughts in, but in the end, I replaced them with positive ones, and that's all that matters.

What is your best weapon to counter negative thoughts? 
Tell me something that you love about yourself! 

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